Imposter syndrome – I wish I could tell you it goes away, but I still find myself feeling less than and doubting that I’m good enough after years of experience and proving myself. The important thing to know is that everyone has had it at one time or another, and those you look up to and wish you could be like, or whose experiences you envy, may just find themselves struggling with it too. It’s normal; so what do you do about it?

What I’m learning that helps is to be intentional with your thoughts. I’ve started to give myself 10 minutes a day, if needed, to have self doubt and worry, then it has to stop and life moves on. If it’s a really awful, want to pull my hair out day sometimes 10 minutes turns into an evening of self doubt, so I try again tomorrow.

I also ask for feedback – what am I doing well, what do I need to work on? I find where I shine, and try to hone that part of myself and have it help me. For me that tends to be my directness. My boss laughingly told me the other day that as he was reading “Radical Candor” he kept thinking of me, because that’s already how I am and I definitely wouldn’t need the book. We laughed about it, but he pointed out that my candor and ability to just be direct and get to the point is what a lot of people struggle with and is something he values. My candor is not something I’d seen as a strength before, more of a personality trait that could be inconvenient at times.

Some things that are working for me:

• Identify where I feel less than compared to my peers, and work my ass off to learn. Take it as an opportunity to see what I should learn and hopefully have a bit of a mentor to do so.
• Track my progress and success – I need to see where I’m succeeding as it helps me see that I’m doing well and all that I’m accomplishing.
• Find a support system – I have co-workers and friends that I trust that I can be honest about my fears and insecurities with, and who help me stay focused on now, and remind me to only give my energy to the things I want to grow; to let the self doubt and negativity go.
• Reward myself when I meet a new goal. It may seem childish, but rewards totally work for me, so I set goals and then when prove that I’ve met them I get a reward, be it a date night, subscription box, new book, etc.
• Meditation. I was not into it at all and used to roll my eyes when meditation was suggested, but then when things got bad enough I gave it a try. I’m still getting the hang of it, but it’s helped tremendously.

I’ve been there – I’ve had anxiety so bad I can’t sleep, worried about a release that didn’t go as planned, or thinking of what I tested over and over worried that I missed a bug. It’s honestly something that I think I have under control, then out of nowhere comes rearing its ugly head and I’m crippled with fear that I’ll lose my job and that I’m not good enough. It’s normal to have imposter syndrome, but it isn’t healthy to let it take over. Find out what works for you, find your way to beat it, then kick it in the ass and go on to be an amazing tester that can fully enjoy your job, and your life outside of work, without being paralyzed with fear or uncertainty.